The Diet of
Manifesto of a Learned Twat
Statutory warning: individuals allergic to worms are strongly advised to consult their physician before reading this
Species: omnivorous multilingual bookworm (vermillus libriensis multilingualis omnivorax)
Habitat: Solar system, planet Earth
Note. Although worms generally have lithe elongated bodies lacking any external organs, book worms do have twats and cocks. Their main organ, however, is a powerful information processor called brain, pinkish-yellowish substance hidden within their skulls. Visually bookworms can be easily mistaken for human beings, inferior creatures characterized by their underdeveloped wetware.
Marital Status: spouse of another bookworm, mother of two female offsprings.
Note: bookworms do mate and at early stages of their personal existence actively engage in sexual activity. Their procreation is limited, though, as their multiple orgasms are largely of intellectual character. It has been suggested that the word “mind-fucking” may have been coined by the bookworm community.
Religion: a nonbeliever worshipping Mother Earth
Note. Religious views vary from bookworm to bookworm. But whatever they are, bookworms rarely manifest aggression towards dissenters. At least they never blow them up.
Academic status: Ph. D. (Linguistics)
Note. Academic degrees are not infrequent among bookworms, though not obligatory. Within traditional occupational paradigm bookworms can be classified as academic minds. On the other hand, some highly venerable specimens of our brainy community never produced any doctoral thesis. Moreover, this kind of scholarly writing has been recently profaned by the spate of pseudo-academic potboilers mass-produced by vain humans.
Occupation: processing information and passing it on. The latter is optional.
Note. Passing on information comes in two basic forms, viz., teaching and creating more books. Therefore the largest concentrations of bookworms are usually found within such professional communities as university tutors and writers (translators), though not necessarily limited to them. In Western world they are also represented by free-thinking individuals shunning any strict professional definitions.
Note. Bookworms are predominantly omnivorous, which means they can digest information in any material packing, such as stone, clay, rope knots, parchment, paper etc. Throughout history bookworms have also adapted themselves to different kinds of coding systems including hieroglyphiс and cuneiform characters, syllabic and phonetic alphabets. Their eating habits do change with time, though. Recently we have witnessed their transition to electronic fare.
Things this particular bookworm thrives on: philosophy, languages, cultural studies, encyclopedias, travel books and maps.
Indifferent to: jewelry, high-heeled shoes, politics, Olympic games.
Allergic to: junk television, tabloids, tear-jerking drivel called romance novels, hype of any kind.
Prone to: philosophic musings on failings and deficiencies of humankind in general and its male half in particular. On second thoughts, being totally brainless, an average human female is also quite depressing. It is common knowledge that an average female brain has 10% more neuron connections than that of a male. However, this fact doesn’t apply to human females generally known as bitches or cunts, the latter a highly derogative term that can also be used in reference to males with hardly any change in meaning.
FAQ (not to be mixed with “fuck”, though for an untrained ear the difference may be insignificant):
To be answered as they come up